Belly Button Portal

My belly button is a portal to another dimension.
I don’t know when I first discovered this,
But I am pretty sure it has been that way since birth.
I have a faint memory of sticking a pencil in there
When I was a child of ten
And I never again did see that pencil.
It never even dawned on me
That this was an unusual trait.
I just assumed that every other little kid
had an endless tunnel into the unknown
Planted inside their stomachs.
Over the years I have placesmany an object inside:
A chickpea
A battery
A licorice
A cat.
I went to see a doctor about it.
He was sucked inside
And never seen again.

Your Body is a Crayon Pack

If thick YELLOW is your pee,
Dehydrated, you must be.
If your hair has changed to GREY,
Push those worries far away.
If your eyes are turning GREEN,
You must be jealous of Steve dating Charlene.
If PURPLE fingers drive you spastic,
Loosen up that wrist elastic.
If your toes have become BLUE,
Fix that darned hole in your shoe.
If your cheeks change to bright PINK,
He said he loved you, I should think.
If your face is WHITE and pale,
You must withold from the ale.
The same thing can also be said
If your nose is turning RED.

MoPo(etry)

In Which Akiva Can't Seem to Get Shake-the-speare in Him.

Subway Zombie
by Akiva

I am the king of this subway car
The sole commander of the grit and the tin.
Every dried piece of gum
Underneath every seat
Is mine for the having.
The graffitti praises me.
In my flickering flourescant dreams
I swing from bar to bar
Like a subterranean chimpanzee.
The breaks screech out my name
Or some derivation.

The stench of the rat race,
Their essence
It lingers.
I feel the sardines
Packed tight
Breifcase up against latte.
Gucci pressed against Armani.
Battle of the name brands
And only friction wins.

But that only makes me feel more free
Breaking all laws
Including gravity.
For I am alone
And there is no other way
I would want to be.

Poetry

In Which Akiva Posts Some Recent Poetry.

If You Were a Chip: A True Story
By Akiva

She puts me in a bag of chips
and stirs me around and around
She wants me to know how they feel
Investigative Journalism
Method Acting

My Claustrophobia kicks in
I pray my salvation arrives
In the form of salsa

Instead
She picks me up
Swallows me whole
As I go down her throat
I hear, echoing behind me
"If you were a chip
this is how I'd eat you"



Sole Purpose
By Akiva

You come inside me
Your smell so familiar
Yet it repulses me
I feel your toes
Wiggling
Tickling
I've been waiting for your touch
To fulfill me
I am bound
These ropes you've tied
Hold me together
And tear me apart
I can tell you like
The feeling of my tounge
I can tell you want me
So we can go for long walks
I am so proud to be yours
Proud to be your shoe

Spanky

In Which Akiva Laments the Inevitable Changes in Life

See, I AM upkeeping my blog, as promised...

So I had a really great day today. I went to Zoo with Becky and my newphew Adeev. We had a great time. You have to understand that my four-year old nephew (nicknamed Spanky) is ridiculously bright for his age. I'm not just saying that as a proud uncle, it's actually true. He is actually sometimes TOO smart for his age. He could read in English and Hebrew at the age that most kids were jsut learning their English alphabet. He taught himself the American Sign Language alphabet before he was four.

So at the Zoo he would read the information signs about each animal about thei diets and habitats, while other kids his age where like "I like ducks!" Hah. The other adults around were amazed by his reading, as was Becky. I was so fucking proud.

Then on the train home he was so tired and he was falling asleep on my lap and I was telling him that I was flying home on Monday morning and he asked "When are you coming back?". I had to whisper "I don't know" in order to not cry. I think he could tell how sad I was because he was like 'You can write me letters!" I held him so fucking close and didn't want to let go ever. I wanted to stay on that train with him in my lap forever.

You see it didn't hit me till then. My plan is to get a decent job this summer so i can stay in Toronto. I just feel that this place is less and less my home. And every summer more and more of my friends are not here or immersed in work. I just think its time to leave this place, a place that I love and have spent a good (and I do mean good) 15 years of my life, behind.

But as I was talking to Colleen on MSN, in my good mood from the day, and was telling her about the day at the zoo then suddenly BOOM...I started majorly bawling. Like...tears pouring out and heavy sobbing. It was like my tear ducts made the realization before I did, because I was actually in a good mood and it shocked me. But just then i realized that as of Monday, i would be quite absent from my nephews life.

You have to understand that I helped raise my nephew in his first two years of life and every summer. I picked him up from daycare, watched him in the afternoons, took him for walks, told hims stories and watched him develop into the amazing and unique kid he is today. If you have ever met him you will know the spell he casts on people and they just are so endeared by him.

And I will no lonfer be a part of that. Phone doesn't really work because the kid just views it as talking to inanimate object (which he is correct about) and views it for the pale imitation of human contact that it is. So really...I won't talk to him for a LONG time. That breaks my heart. I can't even think about it.

Here I go again, with the crying.

Akiva

RETURN FROM THE BloGRAVE!

In Which Akiva is Found Under a Pile of Papers in a Deep Coma, and is Startled to Discover that it is the Year 2006!

I know, I know.

I win the “Worst Blogger of the Year” award. Life just got in the way. The problem was so much stuff happened that I just didn’t have time. Then once I DID get time I got overwhelmed because I wanted to catch people up on the craziness in my life, but at the same time I was still overwhelmed with the shit that went down and I didn’t want to revisit it. Well I think I am just going to sum up the past two months in a newspaper style format because that way I can get everything I need to say out.

Akiva Narrowly Avoids Corporate Lawsuit

Okay….so this is pretty much the reason I stopped blogging. I just got so caught up in this shit a few days after my last post that I went into a depression of sorts and couldn’t bring myself to write about it. It was a shitty shitty time for me. I’m gonna try and fill you in without going into too much detail, because frankly I don’t want to write about it all that much.

After my amazing backstage tour of Lord of the Rings I was so excited that I wrote all about it here and on a theatre website I frequent. I even drew up details to share the amazing experience I had. Well to make a long story short I got in a LOT of shit for doing so because the producers of that show (VERY VERY powerful people) got wind of this and apparently the show was still under extremely tight wraps at that point and under strict legal secrecy. I just wish someone would have informed me of this BEFORE I posted it all over the internet. Honestly there was NO indication of how confidential the stuff we saw was. But that didn’t seem to matter to anyone as I got reamed out, like totally yelled at and stuff, by various people in positions of power. I took the stuff down as quick as possible and apologized, and there was nothing more I could do. But I am still quite certain that the people involved are still very unhappy with me. Okay…moving on…

The Hostage

At just about the same time I was getting reamed out by people for the above incident, I was just getting into the thick of my role as the Assistant Designer on a play, Brendan Behan’s “The Hostage”. At the beginning of the process I was pretty much a research assistant which I love. The big designer I was working for taught me the importance of research and I fell in love with the process. I immersed myself in images of Ireland and terrorism and the era, and it was amazing. I learned so much. I also learned from her the importance of details. As a designer I am known to be anything but subtle. I am known for being big and bold. But she showed me that the details really count for something and that the intricacies of each prop and paint job are what tells the characters stories. I would spend days breaking down the beautiful new props to make them look used and old and worn, and it turned out amazing. See for yourself.

Another amazing thing about it, which I have mentioned before is that by working some of the biggest designers and directors in Canada, I am know slowly integrating myself into the Toronto theatre scene. I have already been offered a job by the designer I assisted, who is the Costume Designer on this new show. The Set Designer is pretty big and is doing a show for Stratford this year, sp it will be an amazing opportunity.

Ryerson Dances 2005

I was the Head of Marketing and Publicity for Ryerson Dances 2005, the big dance show this year. It was an amazing experience. My job was to get as many asses in the seats as possible each night. This meant getting ads out, sending out press releases, bugging the media and setting up media visits. The show itself was astounding and I learned so much about dance. I am definitely developing a taste for it, and I now am more aware of what I like and what I don’t. Some of the pieces were beautiful and joyful and heartbreaking all at the same time. Here are some pics taken by Scott McLeod, a really good photographer in my class. I have to remember to ask him permission though, when I get back to school:


The best part of this experience (besides being able to flirt with the hot dancer girls and throwing a wicked opening night party) was the amazing girls in the P.R. Office. We had SOOO much fun this semester and even though times got tough many times, we bonded and pulled each other through. We are all such good friends now. Shout out to the P.R. Crew, not that any of them read this.

Herbert

Just a quick update on Herbert (If you don’t know who he is shame on you, and you need to go back two posts and rekindle your friendship with him): He is amazing. He is such a part of me now. An extension of myself. I was so scared at first at how everyone would react, but even my super-religious adopted families, as well as my mother who was originally not so impressed, have grown to accept him as part of me. I like that I have something that visually sets me apart a bit from the rest of the people in my neighbourhood. I love that it gives a bit more of an accurate first impression of me, so that people who are just meeting me might be open to accepting a different side of me that they might not normally.

Sadly though I think he is slowly starting to grow out of me, and I amy have to take him out soon enough. I will be SOOO sad when this happens. But I think my big goal is to retain the new found confidence he gave me and carry that with me, even when he is physically not with me.

Roomie

Well I think the last time I posted I still had two roommates. You see my roommate Gad had his friend staying with us for quite some time. We got along so it wasn’t an issue at all. But all sorts of craziness happened in his life, that I will not go into because I really don’t think it is my place and I would for people who aren’t supposed to know to find out. But anyways he finally moved out which meant that me and Gad were all alone in our apartment as originally planned. I was worried because I really hadn’t spent much time with him alone, because his friend was always around.

But it turns out I had nothing to be worried about. We get along great and the dynamic is exactly what I want from a roommate. We are both really private so we tend to hole ourselves up in our respective rooms, but at the same time it is not awkward at all when we are both in the kitchen or the living room or whatever. He has a weird, sick sense of humour like I do, which is a relief, and he likes weird movies. The funny thing is most of our conversations take place through stickie tabs left on my door or over MSN. Hah he has even befriended a few of my friends over MSN without me knowing, and now they talk.

Which Brings us to…

NOW! So I have been back in Cowtown for a couple weeks. Its weird. Everytime I come back here, I feel less like this is my home. All my friends are busy with their own lives and other friends. I am quite sure that I want to spend my summer in Toronto, if at all possible. The trick to that is getting a decent job and making money. I shall try with all my might.

But don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being back and seeing everyone. Here are some pics stolen from Colleen. She and Lisa ambushed me one night, when I had plans with Becky, so we all went to the Point and it was good times. Then a few nights later I went to Tweedly’s birthday which was lots of fun. Also me and Colleen went on a secret mission downtown which I shant discuss because of the level of confidentiality involved (hehe…I learned my lesson from the Lord of the Rings). All I can say is it was great fun and may have started a sick infatuation with something that I probably shouldn’t like.

Anyways…quick shout out to Efron, Becky and Hayden who proved this week that we can still be close as ever because of the internet, no matter how dispersed we are. And of course to my dear Colleen who is really going to to be the only person who makes it this far reading this post. Good times were had this break, and more good times are bound to happen.

Your Friend,

Akiva

p.s...I promise to never be such an irrisponsible blogger again. This past semester was the craziest time of my life, but it should be okay from now on, so I shall update regularly. Don't give up on me yet.

Theatremania!

In Which Akiva is Engulfed in a World of Theatre

I know, I know...it's been a while since last post. I have just gotten really busy with school and my shows.

Speaking of shows...theatre has had a definite huge role in the past few weeks. First off there is the show that I am Assistant Designer for, called "The Hostage" by Brendan Behan. It is about a you British soldier that is being held hostage by some I.R.A. officers in a crazy run-down whorehouse full of all these crazy, funny characters. The set is turning out to be amazing and will definitely be unlike anything that has been done in that space. The designer I am assisting is amazing to me and is trying to get me good industry connctions and experience, and I consider her more a good friend and mentor than someone I am assisting. I mean, I have been spending more time with her than any of my other friends.

The other play I saw was called The Optomists by Morwyn Brebner. It is about a guy, Chick, and his fiance, Teenie, that are in Vegas for the weekend to get married. Chicks best friend comes along, and then when his wife tags along too all things go to hell and their relationships are pushed to the limit. The show was well-written and the set and lighting were brilliant, but I felt the acting a little stale and the characters very one-dimensioanl. The cool thing was that this show was directed by Eda Holmes, who is one of Toronto's biggest directors, and who also just to happens to be directing "The Hostage". I have been working with her pretty closely, providing her with a lot of visual research. I also knew the Costume Designer, and her assistant, as well as the Lighting and Sound Technician. It was weird to look through the porgram of a major Toronto play and realize that I am slowly becoming part of this community and that I already have these amazing connections and I am not even graduated yet.

The other play I saw was the first show of this year's Ryerson season, called "Walking on Water". It was definitely the best show Ryerson has done since I was in first year. It is a murder mystery set in a small Canadian community in the 50's, but it has lots of humour and heart. The writing was unpretentious (which is rare for Ryerson) and the acting was top-notch. What really blew me away was the technical elements. the lighting totally gave the feel of a Film Noir, the sound design and music totally took me back to the period, the sets were simple but effective for the story, and the costumes told me write away who the characters were...or in the case of this play, who they wanted you to think they were. Kudos to all my friends involved. The writer even came to see the show and apparently this is the best production of it he has ever seen!

The show I just saw today was perhaps the most amazing of them all. It is a show called "Enoch Arden". I had the pleasure of Kelly's company to this show and it was breathtaking. Everyone in the theatre school, actors, techines and profs, had been telling me to see this show, especially for the set. I wasn't let down. It was amazing. It was a barren wasteland, utilizing the exposed brick and wood of the intimate theatre. there was rubble all around and in the middle a chair, piano, and a weird platform/pool, all covered in clear construction tarp. The show itself was about two mental patients at a halfway house, practicing a performance of Lord Alfred Tennyson and Richard Strauss's "Enoch Arden" for the talent show, but in doing so tell their own story. The acting was BRILLIANT...some of the best I have ever seen. The music was gorgeous and the ending had me near tears. It taught me a lot about a good set, and I can't wait to use what I learned.

And I have saved the best for last. For those of you that haven't heard, Lord of the Rings is being made into a huge theatrical musical...although it is more like a grand opera. It was supposed to premiere in London, but Toronto was lucky enough to grab that premiere. This thing is massive and jsut may help revitalize tourism and the theatre community in this city. It sold 1 million worth of tickets in the first 24 hours the box office was open, and 3 million in the first week. That is almost on the level of a movie.

Anyways...through school, I have been presented with the amazing oppertunity to witness the development of the show (along with 29 of my friends) throughout it's various stages of conception. We had our first tour on Friday, and there will be four more tours over the next few months, leading up to the February opening.

It was amazing...that's all i can really say for obvious reasons in the next post.

Akiva